But as the years spent partying and drinking began catching up to him, he yearned for something more. So he decided to turn over a new leaf, leave his hedonistic ways and take up more lucrative opportunities…
Welcome to the Kingdom
I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who’s been to ‘The Kingdom’ (You know…that country in the Middle East). There’s nothing to do there, and that’s if you’re even granted a visa.
After years spent indulging himself, living in this new country is a whole different world. But he manages well. He saves a ton of money, reads books and even starts an erotica ebook hustle on Amazon. Yes, none of this stuff is nearly as exciting as his earlier installments. He does have quite a few adventures in survivalist camps around the USA, but the entertainment factor just isn’t there.
From what the book lacks in sex, drugs and rock n’ roll it makes up for it by providing deep, introspective thoughts on middle age. The days of indulging in unfulfilling drunken sex are over.
“But just consider,” I continued. “You go out and live all your dreams, fuck tons of babes and visit every cool country on Earth. It becomes what you live for, for a while, and you’re in fucking heaven. Is enlightenment going to be your reward? Nope. Eventually, you get burned out. A fucked -up dead amygdala. Gradual de-sensitization and addiction-related changes in your frontal lobes. “Numbed pleasure response” as he puts it.”
ETX has clearly grown out of the ‘bang as many chicks as possible phase’. Even if he was tempted, there were no women in the Kingdom. Rather he’d have to take a hike to Bahrain to pork some 3rd world trash.
He fulfills his need for intimacy with his Russian girlfriend back in Vodkaberg. They Skype regularly, and even take the occasional trip together. Both of them want to truly settle down, but neither is willing to accommodate the other, with the girlfriend wanting to stay in her little town after being refused a US visa.
You feel for the two. You want everything to just work out for them, but underneath the surface you know both of them aren’t going to live happily ever after together.
ETX chose this life and he seems satisfied with his choices. And through all of it he can hardly identify with others.
One of the problems with following your own path in life: it can often lead you to a solitary destination.
His fellow teachers are weird old guys. His students are d-Bag Arabs. And there are no bars in the Kingdom to just shoot the shit with someone. In Dubai he’s able to reunite with Crazy Bob, a wild character from Vodkaberg who clearly hasn’t changed, but it’s not a regular thing.
No, ETX is on his own. He’s moved beyond youth, but isn’t looking forward to what middle age has to offer.
The Burnout Trilogy is a must read, and Requiem for a Vagabond is an appropriate way to wrap up the series. I’m not sure what ETX has planned for the future, or if he has enough material for another book. Either way I look forward to what his next move is.
Click here to get your copy of Requiem for a Vagabond by English Teacher X on Amazon.